your handy gift guide


Can I send you my puppy?

no.

I can't finish my sandwich. Can I send you my sandwich?

no.

Can I send you samples of my body hair?

no!

Why can't I send you my sandwich?

no?

Can I send you something spooky? This item in particular has a curse on it.

no.

I found this on the ground. Does Don want this?

no.

How about this? It is nude and leaking and there is a nest of red spiders inside.

no.

Hey!! You are suck! I mailed you gift YESTERDAY and haven't received nothing! I throw rock at head of post man! Where is my Christmas?

please be patient.

Are you sure I can't mail you my puppy? He cute.

yes, real sure.

Hey! I specifically requested all of Don's films, autographs of all the
casts and crews, a drawing of a pony, and three t-shirts in exchange for the candle I mailed you! I didn't hardly get any of that stuff! What the hell is your problem??

please be reasonable!!

Hey! My puppy got returned to me in the mail today!

bye!